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Squirrel Jokes

What did the squirrel say to his girl-friend?
I'm nuts about you.
What did the girl squirrel answer back?
"You're nuts so bad yourself."
Doctor, doctor, I'm frightened of squirrels.
You must be nuts,
How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden ?
Hide the ball, it drives them nuts !
If you're crazy about chess, why should you keep away from squirrels?
Because squirrels eat chestnuts (chess nuts).
What animals use nutcrackers?
Toothless squirrels.
What do squirrels give each other on Valentine's Day?
Forget-me-nuts.
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with a kangaroo?
An animal that keeps its nuts in its pockets.
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
An animal that remembers where it hid its nuts.
What's the best way to catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut.
Where do squirrels go when they have a nervous breakdown?
To the nut-house.
Why do squirrels like to sit on telephone poles?
To stay away from the nuts on the ground!



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