What did the squirrel say to his girl-friend?
I'm nuts about you. |
What did the girl squirrel answer back?
"You're nuts so bad yourself." |
Doctor, doctor, I'm frightened of squirrels.
You must be nuts, |
How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden ?
Hide the ball, it drives them nuts ! |
If you're crazy about chess, why should you keep away from squirrels?
Because squirrels eat chestnuts (chess nuts). |
What animals use nutcrackers?
Toothless squirrels. |
What do squirrels give each other on Valentine's Day?
Forget-me-nuts. |
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with a kangaroo?
An animal that keeps its nuts in its pockets. |
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
An animal that remembers where it hid its nuts. |
What's the best way to catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut. |
Where do squirrels go when they have a nervous breakdown?
To the nut-house. |
Why do squirrels like to sit on telephone poles?
To stay away from the nuts on the ground! |
