| I told you not to let
those pigs In my office. Now, look what's happened.
They've eaten all the dates off my calendar!
| If an elephant is the
symbol of the Republican Party and a donkey is the symbol of the Democratic Party,
what is a pig the symbol of?
Any party where there's lots of food.
| If it took six pigs
two hours to eat the apples in the orchard, how many hours would it take three
None, because the six pigs have already eaten them all.
| If you drop this book
in a pig pen, what should you do?
Take the words out of their mouths.
| Is it true the pigs
went over Niagara Falls in a barrel?
No, that story's just a lot of hogwash.
| Is lunch the favorite
subject of piglets?
No, it's theatre. They love to ham It up and hog all the attention.
| Mama Pig has a great,
new kitchen appliance that lets her prepare meals ahead.
It's called a garbage compactor.
| MOTHER PIG: What did
you learn in school today?
FIRST PIGLET: Oink! Oink!
SECOND PIGLET: Oink! Oink!
THIRD PIGLET: Woof! Woof!
MOTHER PIG: What?
THIRD PIGLET: I'm taking a foreign language.
| Name the pig's favorite
| Pigs don't look very
smart to me.
Sure, they are. You ever see a sow try to make a silk purse out of a farmer's