|Fred and Bob
shared a cage for their two pet aardvarks. So that they could tell which
was which, they tied a red ribbon around Fred's aardvark's neck.
But one day when they went to play with their aardvarks the ribbon had
fallen off. "How shall we tell the aardvarks apart now?" said
Fred thought for a while. "I know!" he said. "You
have the dark brown aardvark, and I'll have the sandy coloured one!"
|A man tried
to sell his neighbour an aardvark, promising that it could talk, but
his neighbour refused to believe him.
Suddenly the aardvark spoke. "Please buy me," the aardvark
pleaded. "My owner is cruel and never feeds me, even though I'm
the most clever aardvark in the world."
"So he can talk!" exclaimed the neighbour. "Why on
earth would you want to sell such an amazing creature?"
"Because he tells such awful lies..."
"Dad, what would happen if I stole that aardvark?"
Father: "You'd go to prison, son."
Little Boy: "Oh! You wouldn't forget to feed him while I was
away, would you?"
|A huge elephant
was stomping across the country when he came across an aardvark in his
"You've very small," the elephant said fiercely.
"Well, I've been ill," replied the aardvark.
|Why did you
put this aardvark in your sister's bed?
I couldn't find a mouse.
|Vet: Give three
teaspoonfuls of this to your aardvark every night.
Person: But I've only got one teaspoon.
|What have all
eighteenth century aardvarks got in common?
They are all dead.
|I've got a
new aardvark. Would you like to play with him?
I don't really know. I've heard it growling, it doesn't sound very friendly.
Does it bite?
That's what I want to find out.
|I call my aardvark
He's always snapping.
|What has six
legs, two arms, four eyes and a tail?
A man holding an aardvark.